Oh Brother Where Art Thou

Today is my oldest brothers birthday.  He's nearing 40 years old.  I have only seen him a handful of times in the past 10 years.  He started doing drugs as a 15 year old.  Now I don't exactly know when he started but its said to be at church camp.  Every once in awhile I think about what that moment must have been like for him.  At a place where he should have been growing, he began a slow decline down a path of destruction.  Working for a "camp" organization we tend to focus on the good stories.  We hear about kids who make life changing choices.  Kids who decide to follow Christ.  We don't hear stories of kids like my brother.  We meet together, share emails from youth ministers and lift each other up.  Often times I wonder why we even praise ourselves if we quickly follow those statements with phrases like, "to God be the glory".

I would love for my brother to turn his life around.  For him to overpower the struggle of Meth, Cocaine, Heroin, and other deadly drugs.  I grew up praying that he would snap out of it.  As each year passes, he inches closer to his end.  My father has mentioned to me that he is now preparing himself for a funeral.  He needs someone to step in.  He needs someone to show him the love of Christ.  Will you be that someone?  Well unless your in New Jersey, probably not.  But maybe someone there will.  I often question my motives when it comes to helping the homeless or giving strangers a hand.  I sometimes think, if i'm doing this just to feel good about myself, then I shouldn't do it at all.  I wonder how many people look at my brother a homeless, meth using, middle aged man and turn the other cheek.  I'll be the first to admit, it's going to take a lot more than one person stepping in sharing God's love.  Most of the time I think sharing God's love is giving some dude a meal and telling him God loves him.  Is that what that man needs?  Does that man need some middle class 20 something "sharing" God's love?  I'd like to think it helps.  Or as we say it in church, "plants a seed".  Who is going to water these seeds?  

If I seem frustrated or unclear, I am.  I'm just trying to work it out.  I'll be honest, I am scared for my brother.  I'm scared for his salvation, I'm scared for his health.  I've never known him, and have never considered him a brother.  I hope for that to happen.  I miss him.  I look at my son and feel for my father.  I would do anything for my son.  I would give my life, I would give away all of my possessions.  My father has given years of his life to my brother.  Lord please deliver my brother of pain, suffering, depression, and addiction.  Bring him closer to you.